In our lives we all rely on someone or something for our most basic needs. We rely on ourselves and other for certain types of provision. Shelter, money, food, clothing, and basic emotional needs. There are many people and places we look to provide these simple things in life whether it be ourselves, parents, brothers, sister, spouse, friend, teachers, colleagues, and the list goes on. I know I look to all of these people for some reason or another, but many times I overlook the one person I should be relying on: God.
In Matthew 6: 25-34, it says we are not to worry about any of that stuff. That God will provide food, drink, and clothing. He provides all of these things to the creatures of the world, so why would he forget about us? His most valued creation? We are told to rely on God for EVERYTHING. In all aspects of our life. We are to hand everything to him, and rely on his provision.... solely.
Easier said than done.
While we've been in Korea, I feel that Jon and I have really come to rely on God in many ways, but in a lot of other ways we are totally relying on ourselves.
I'm not going to lie, we are very financially secure in Korea. Our housing is paid for, we are paid a great salary, and we are able to save quite a bit. We budget, but if we didn't want too, it would probably be ok. In other words, we aren't really relying on God's faithfulness in that area. We see ourselves as providers for ourselves. This is not a good thing, for many reasons. I'm not saying we just go spending our many everywhere, we are good stewards with what God has given us, we just really aren't feeling that tug of complete financial reliance on God.
The bad and good part is we are going to be facing that reality ... very quickly. Starting next January we (well Jon for sure) will be starting Grad school. With very limited income. We will be faced with student loans, crummy part time work, and our financial "freedom" will be down the drain. I'm both terrified and excited for that. I'm terrified because who doesn't really want to be secure in their finances? Does anyone really end up saying...yes I'd love to be buried in debt and be dirt poor? I'm excited at the challenge and the leap of faith it's going to take. I think that it will challenge our budget, and challenge us as a couple to find cheap alternatives in different areas of our lives. And I really think that taking that step of trusting God so completely with finances will be extremely humbling, and beneficial later in our lives. I truly want to be able to tell our children that we struggled, and relied on God through it all. I mean what a testament to his provision and the glory of our God!
But, like I said in other ways we have totally been relying on God throughout our time in Korea. We have 100% been relying on him emotionally. Being away from family and friends has been really emotionally hard on us both. I think it's really tested our marriage at times as well. But we have relied so much on God's promise of always being by our side and carrying us through those hard moments.
I really hope that we never lose that sense of reliance on God's presence in our lives. When we move back, we will have a church community, we will have more contact with family and friends. But I hope that we never lose that "need" for God by our side as emotional support and sustainment.
Living so far from the "reality" of home has caused us to take a look at our lives, and who and what we are relying on for our basic needs. I pray that we continue to realize that ultimately our provision comes from God and that no matter what we can trust his promises.
Who are you relying on?