Sunday, January 31, 2010

Separation Anxiety

Every time my sister-in-law Jamie leaves the room even for a second, this is what happens to little Khloe. Tears, sobbing, and completely unconsolable. Seriously this girl has got a lot of separation anxiety. And for little kids this is completely normal. You get attached and then you just don't know what to do with yourself. It's irrational, it's pretty sad, and it's normal if you're three or younger...

It is not however, normal for a grown, married, 24 year old to have this. And yet I do. The way Khloe looks is how I feel inside, and quite honestly probably how I look when I have to say goodbyes. I HATE goodbyes, and that is an understatement. I don't handle them well and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I know goodbyes are hard for everyone, but for me it's x20 and I wish it didn't affect me so. The past few weeks of vacation have been filled with a lot of goodbyes. Saying goodbye to family in Alaska, saying goodbye to my parents in MN, saying goodbye to Jon's parents in Korea, and the last goodbye was to Mike and Christina. And it was hard.

We had a FANTASTIC time with Mike and Christina, seriously so great. We just had so much fun hanging out, getting to spend time with each other, and for me getting to know them better as family. And so ... I got attached, and when it was time for goodbyes I was a wreck. I at least held it together until they left, and then Jon got to deal with my irrational anxiety.

The only thing that softens the blow is knowing my brother and his wife will be joining us in 5 days for two weeks. But once it's over...

It'll be this, allllll over again.
Why I have this anxiety, I can't quite pin down. I have some ideas as to why, but it's a little to debbie downer. I do know that when I have children I'm wondering if it'll be me or them crying when I drop them at the church nursery, their first day of school, their first day of college... I'd better start preparing now otherwise they will never leave home... ever. Intervention anyone?

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