Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Compliments

Because I apparently enjoy the feeling of productivity I made the choice to take two summer classes. They are both two week intensives and one started on Monday.

Yes, that's right. After the stressful week of finals, I decided to start up with class again two days later. I also apparently don't enjoy giving myself a break.

However, this class has been absolutely phenomenal.

Seriously.

The instructor is fantastic, my classmates are great, and it is probably the most laid back atmosphere you could ask for.

The class is Groups in Counseling and our instructor, Reggie Moore, does a fantastic job of modeling and facilitating the type of leader one would hope to be. There is structure, yet at the same time it is flexible to allow for movement and a change of pace. In three days I already feel that I've gained a lot of insight.

One of my favorite parts is Reggie's way of confronting others, yet in a way that encourages and empowers others to rise to the occasion.

Today was no different.

He was conversing with one of the men in my class and ended paying him a compliment.

The man said "thank you"

And Reggie came back with " Now you hold on to that. I know in five hours you're going to want to do something that will negate or muddy that compliment, but that still won't take the truth of it away."

ummm. wow.

This hit me. hard. I began to analyze why we tend to mess up or continue to disbelieve when others compliment us. Even if we take the compliment at first, we later find justification for it to not be true.

Is it because we are so afraid of not fully living up to that compliment? We feel the need to prove others wrong?

Do we really see ourselves in such a poor light?

I think for me personally I feel that deep down I don't truly possess the quality that I'm being complimented on and I'm terrified someone might find out how untrue their words are. I think I'm also scared that while their words may be true in the moment what if something happens later that might make them regret giving me those words?

Compliments are a tricky business, but I truly want to get better at accepting them and learn to believe them.

A pretty lofty goal, but one that needs to be accomplished.


How are you at taking compliments? Do you find it easy to accept or do you negate them?

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